You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
