good thing vaginas are great cup holders
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
