HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
