Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
being pregnant is like rehab
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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