Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
