Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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