it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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