Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
