i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
