dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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