Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
