i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
