Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
