Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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