he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
