Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
