he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize