Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
