Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
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