gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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