I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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