My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize