Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
