Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
