After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
there is glitter all over my balls
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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