Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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