Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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