lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
