i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
