life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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