I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
