You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
