Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize