all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
