She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
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