I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
