During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
