If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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