Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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