the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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