Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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