they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
