i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
