I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
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