i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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