It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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