grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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