The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
