what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
