I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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