yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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