Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
