Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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