i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Randomize
