im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
