Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
