If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
