Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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