its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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