Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
